Eye Lash Mites

We're begging you, Mr. Bettman... no Nickelback

Re: The possibility of the NHL Faceoff Nickelback

Dear Gary Bettman et al.

According to our intrepid sports reporters Gary Lawless and Ed Tait, 2011-12 NHL season will launch in Winnipeg with a great show at The Forks, known as the NHL Faceoff, October 6. This is the first of four days of festivities leading up to the house opens the Winnipeg Jets against the Montreal Canadiens on October 9.

This is a fantastic idea, and we both are thrilled to have the Jets back. We are ready for a party to launch the season.We both belong to groups that have purchased subscriptions so quickly back in Winnipeg in June that may never recover its reputation for being cheap and stingy.

Anyway, the word in the paper last Sunday there was talk of having a "major act together Canadian" make Faceoff at the event, with the possibility of Nickelback is in the race to do.

As people who love music and love of Winnipeg even more, we have a request: Please ensure that this does not happen. The return of the NHL in Winnipeg is something we have dreamed for 15 years.Please do not tarnish the celebration with the presence of a band whose existence is contrary to the concept of celebration.

Please, someone in charge of booking the event, not to make Nickelback in Winnipeg this weekend. They can play in the arena for their own supporters - they are many - at any time. But a free show to the public? That would amount to spitting on toupee Bobby Hull, Dale Hawerchuk jersey burning, leaving something wet on Thomas Steen City Council seat or tripping Teemu Selanne on the ice during his final season in the NHL.

Justin Timberlake, questionable, sexy back.You would do the opposite by bringing Nickelback back in the land of Bachman and Cummings.

Why undermine the atmosphere of the return of Jets by booking an Dour, depressing band that has done little but to inspire more Dour, the depressing bands like Theory of a Dead Man, Three Days Grace and Hinder . Music critics actually use "theory Nickelback Dead" as a shortcut to humorless, joyless, mid-tempo, hard-working CanCon that exists only to make life easier for programmers and radio unimaginative manufacturers fireworks.

Nickelback why love fireworks?Because you need to watch something at a Nickelback concert. I mean, besides the facial hair Chad Kroeger. Who does not love his facial hair? A sub-population of entire eyelash mites is supported by the mass of follicle-generated cellulose. In addition, razor blades are expensive these days. But we stray.

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